Stan and Haney

Afternoons 2pm-6pm

ID Photo

Police received an interesting call in Oldsmar, Fl on March 15. And the police probably weren’t ready for the sight they were about to see and the strong smell of vinegar that was going to curse their cruisers.

Eric Detiege, 47, was lying on his back in front of a townhouse with his pants off, penis in one hand, and a large uneaten pickle in the other. According to an officer, he was, “using the pickle to penetrate his rectum while he was masturbating.”

He is being held in Pinellas County Jail on a $150 bond. He has a tattoo on his arm that simply says “Only God can judge me”. There is no word on if the pickle has been seized into evidence.


10 Weird Laws In Cape Coral and Other Parts Of Florida

  • In the city of Cape Coral a person can be fined $50 for keeping a couch underneath their outdoor carport.

    It may be a great place to hang out, have a few beers and watch traffic, but technically in the Cape – it’s against the law.

  • It is illegal to sing in the state of Florida when you are in your swimsuit.

    So when you see that guy on Fort Myers Beach playing his tuba, best to cover up before you sing along.


  • Stealing a horse is a crime punishable by hanging.

    Hanging? Do we still do that?

  • A husband is not allowed to kiss his wife's breasts

    But if it’s someone who’s not your wife it’s ok? Gonna need some clarification on this one.

  • Men may not wear a strapless gown in public.

    Not sure why strapless was the necessary language here.

  • Women, and the salon owner. may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer

    Best grab some Starbucks before you head to the salon so you don’t nod off.

  • Unmarried women are prohibited from parachuting on Sunday

    This is a strange one that’s mentioned often but I can’t prove that it exists or that it’s been repealed. It might be ok?

  • It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine

    Now this one has a story. In 2009 two Russian tourists decided to challenge this law and do just that with a porcupine. It didn’t end well. I’ll give you the link to the story but warn you that it also includes mention of a Russian who tried to force a raccoon into oral sex. That also, did not end well.  Here it is.

  • You must pay for the parking meter if you tie an elephant, goat or alligator to it

    That one actually makes sense. If you’re taking up the parking spot you should have to pay.

  • Being publicly clothed in liquid latex is illegal

    I get the feeling this one is targeting Key West

  • In Cape Coral, it is illegal to park your pick-up truck in front of your house or in your driveway

    Not sure where else you can put your truck if your couch is already under the carport. Cape Coral is a confusing place.