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Cape Coral Undercover: Florida Man Busted Prowling with Boring Underwear

Author Budman

I’m all for some cool superhero undies, got an awesome collection myself, but I wear them like a normal person. As normal as a grown man in Batman underwear would. At least I’m not using them as headgear like this guy… So, let’s talk about this dude, Troy Dean Stuart. According to  Cape Coral, police caught him prowling around a backyard, and get this, he had plain navy blue undies wrapped around his neck. Not the epic superhero kind, just your basic navy blue.

Troy, a 35-year-old with a boring undies, got busted in the 2000 block of Everest Parkway. Imagine seeing a guy in the dark with undies on his face… That’s a whole new level of suspicious. They even caught Troy on surveillance cameras, and here come the fashion police… I mean, the actual police, swooping in. They Found him lying in an empty lot, rocking an outfit that screams “suspected prowler,” plus the cherry on top, navy undies around his neck. Plain navy blue, Troy? Really?

Boring Underwear:

Now, Troy’s got an excuse for his fashion faux pas. He tells the cops he was just working on his fitness. Classic move, right? Who doesn’t jog with undies on their face? He claims it was for a nice scenic nature run. And those navy undies? Apparently, they’re the latest in cold protection.

But hold up, why was he hiding? Troy says it’s because two guys confronted him. “Sir, why the undies on your neck? Crime fighter or crime maker?” Fair question, if you ask me.

Then there’s the nature mystery. Does Troy have a thing for trees? A neighbor reported two bonsai trees stolen. Why steal trees, you ask? Well, they’re worth 7k! That’s why. Cops even found bonsai trees at Troy’s place, but guess what? Not the stolen ones. Weird right?

After everything, Troy Dean Stuart got hit with charges of loitering and prowling. No word on the current state of his undies.

10 Weird Laws In Cape Coral and Other Parts Of Florida

The state of Florida has been around since March 3, 1845. And in that time a lot of Florida weird laws have been passed that have now become very outdated. Most of these laws stay on the books and are widely ignored. There used to be a law that stated “unmarried couples may not live together and commit “lewd acts.” According to FloridaLaw, “A Florida law that banned unmarried couples from living together dating back to post-Civil War Reconstruction is no more. Gov. Rick Scott signed SB 498 which repealed a law that made it a misdemeanor “if any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together.”

But for every one of these outdated laws that have been removed, many, many more remain. There’s a lot of  Florida Weird Laws throughout the state to appreciate, but I’m going to focus on the ones that most affect us here in Southwest Florida. 2 of these are Cape Coral specific. There’s actually 11 on this list but I found another Cape Coral one after I had finished. I wasn’t going to leave it out, amiright? Maybe I should spend some more time just looking through Cape Coral laws. I’m probably only just scratching the surface.

So let’s have a look at some Florida weird laws, starting off with my favorite one because it’s Cape Coral. Personally I think this one’s an intrusion on how you want to live, but it’s on the books.

  • In the city of Cape Coral a person can be fined $50 for keeping a couch underneath their outdoor carport.

    It may be a great place to hang out, have a few beers and watch traffic, but technically in the Cape – it’s against the law.

  • It is illegal to sing in the state of Florida when you are in your swimsuit.

    So when you see that guy on Fort Myers Beach playing his tuba, best to cover up before you sing along.

     

  • Stealing a horse is a crime punishable by hanging.

    Hanging? Do we still do that?

  • A husband is not allowed to kiss his wife's breasts

    But if it’s someone who’s not your wife it’s ok? Gonna need some clarification on this one.

  • Men may not wear a strapless gown in public.

    Not sure why strapless was the necessary language here.

  • Women, and the salon owner. may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer

    Best grab some Starbucks before you head to the salon so you don’t nod off.

  • Unmarried women are prohibited from parachuting on Sunday

    This is a strange one that’s mentioned often but I can’t prove that it exists or that it’s been repealed. It might be ok?

  • It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine

    Now this one has a story. In 2009 two Russian tourists decided to challenge this law and do just that with a porcupine. It didn’t end well. I’ll give you the link to the story but warn you that it also includes mention of a Russian who tried to force a raccoon into oral sex. That also, did not end well.  Here it is.

  • You must pay for the parking meter if you tie an elephant, goat or alligator to it

    That one actually makes sense. If you’re taking up the parking spot you should have to pay.

  • Being publicly clothed in liquid latex is illegal

    I get the feeling this one is targeting Key West

  • In Cape Coral, it is illegal to park your pick-up truck in front of your house or in your driveway

    Not sure where else you can put your truck if your couch is already under the carport. Cape Coral is a confusing place.

 

Meet Budman, dynamic host of Marconi Award winning radio station WXKB's WiLD Bunch Morning Show, on B1039. Budman likes to write about funny news, a good Florida man story, stupid criminals or anything involving a superhero. Budman, a comic book and pop culture enthusiast, even named his daughter Kara Zor-El, after Supergirl. His only child is his true passion beyond the mic. Being a dad is his favorite role. Budman, a true family man, balances his love for radio with quality time spent with loved ones and his trusty dogs.

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