I Feel Nothing After A Break Up Am I A Sociopath?
Q: Jacob’s a 25 year old dude who has had 50-100 dates. His issue is that he never gets upset over a break up and was wondering why he has no emotional connection. His friends say he never cared about any of them enough to be upset. But he is wondering, is he a sociopath?
A: Our Cooper from The Cooper and Anthony Show put on her Dr. hat and did that psychologist thing she does and told Jacob this:
Are you a sociopath? Probably not. First of all, less than 5% of the population are and it takes more criteria than just being unfeeling at the end of a relationship. Sociopaths have no empathy for others, can’t hold down a job and use their intelligence and charm to control other people. Lots of other stuff, but yeah..no
So, it’s more likely that you’re just emotionally unavailable meaning you’re not comfortable with your own feelings, or with sharing them, or even being present and responsive to someone else’s feelings. You may have loved several of the women you dated but in a selfish way because you’re emotionally unavailable you never had true intimacy, you never really opened up, or let them get to know you that sort of thing. If the connections you’re making with women are superficial, of course you’re not going to feel anything when you break up, but you’re also never going to have a real relationship.
Part of a relationship is sharing your secrets, talking about your relationship, and telling your partner important stuff. People are generally happier when both of you are sharing real stuff. It doesn’t sound like you’re doing that.
That said, there could be other reasons.
TOP 5 REASONS YOU FEEL NOTHING AFTER A BREAK-UP
- Emotional Exhaustion: You may have invested significant emotional energy and effort in the relationship, leading to emotional exhaustion or burnout. When the relationship ends, you might feel emotionally depleted, resulting in a temporary numbness.
- Defense Mechanism: Feeling nothing can be a defense mechanism to protect yourself from the pain and hurt of the break-up. It’s a way of coping with overwhelming emotions and can serve as a protective barrier to shield you from further emotional distress.
- Pre-existing Emotional Detachment: Some dudes just have difficulty connecting emotionally or may have unresolved emotional issues, leading them to feel less affected by a break-up compared to other dudes.
- Lack of Attachment: In some cases, the relationship may not have been deeply meaningful or long-lasting, which is what I was saying earlier. That could result in a lack of strong emotional attachment and subsequently less emotional turmoil after the break-up.
- Emotional Shutdown: After a break-up, some individuals may go through a period of emotional shutdown as a way to process their feelings gradually and regain emotional stability.
Everyone’s emotional response to a break-up is unique. But if you’re not connecting emotionally, then you’re not having deep meaningful relationships. If it’s a pattern and you want to break that pattern, it’s worth looking in to.
