She Won’t Go Down On Me
Travis called Cooper and Anthony during the Sex Hour to ask what we thought about his odd situation. His girlfriend doesn’t go down on him -not once- not ever! He performs oral on her, a lot, many times and she has no complaints. He’s confronted her about it and she says she’d “be into it if her partner was.” What should he do?
We told him she’s lying and that she’s sexually selfish. Also that it’s not cool! Especially since you did talk to her and you made it clear that you’d totally be into it.
WHAT’S REALLY GOING ON?
There are some women who just don’t like having anything stuck in their mouths, or they have some trauma associated with giving oral sex or your junk smells or there are women who have had guys shove their heads down, which is aggressive and unpleasant and makes them not want to be so giving.
YOU ASKED, NOW WHAT?
She needs to give you a real reason. Because saying she would “do it if her partner was into it” when you are clearly expressing that you’re into it -yet she is still not doing it. Not giving oral is ok if there is a legit reason but she’s clearly selfish. The fact that she feels no guilt getting it all the times you’ve gone down on her with no need or no feeling to reciprocate or at least tell you why she’s not reciprocating is why we say she’s selfish. That’s the problem. Not that she wont do it, she has that right, but it’s how she’s going about it that (pardon the pun) sucks.
You deserve and actual explanation and not a lie, but if she won’t discuss it or be honest with you, then it is your right to end the relationship.
WHAT IF SHE IS WILLING TO DISCUSS IT?
If your girlfriend is not interested in reciprocating oral sex, and will talk to you about it, it’s important to approach the situation with understanding and respect for each other’s boundaries. Here are a few steps you can take:
Reflect on your expectations: Consider why receiving oral sex is important to you and what it means to your sexual experience. It’s crucial to understand that everyone has different preferences, desires, and comfort levels when it comes to sexual activities. If this is a dealbreaker for you, then say so.
Open and honest communication is key: You sorta spoke with her and then you dropped it. You have to advocate for yourself. Initiate an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your desires and concerns. Make sure you approach the topic with sensitivity and without judgment in case she does have some trauma. Express your feelings and explain why you enjoy oral sex, what you like about it and what it says about your relationship. Ask her if she would be comfortable sharing her perspective on the matter as well.
Active listening and empathy: Pay attention to her viewpoint and actively listen to her concerns or reasons for not wanting to engage in oral sex. It could be due to physical discomfort, past experiences, personal preferences, or other factors. Try to understand her perspective without pressuring or coercing her.
Seek compromise: Once you both have expressed your thoughts and feelings, explore potential compromises that can satisfy both of you. It could involve finding alternative forms of sexual pleasure that you both enjoy, trying different techniques or approaches, or discussing any underlying concerns that may be affecting her willingness.
Respect boundaries: It’s crucial to respect your girlfriend’s boundaries and decisions regarding her own body. Pressuring or guilting her into engaging in sexual activities she’s uncomfortable with is not appropriate or healthy for the relationship. Mutual consent and respect are fundamental in any sexual relationship.
