Spaghetti Sauced: Drunk Florida Man Tosses Pasta, Lands a Felony
A 40-year-old Florida Man named Marquell Royal got himself tossed like pasta right into jail for what we’ll call it a “crime of spaghetti” According to the Smoking Gun, Marquell and his wife were having an argument, and to no surprise, alcohol was involved. Marquell, already a few drinks deep, got mad and did what any reasonable person wouldn’t do… He threw a bowl of spaghetti at his wife.
Look, If you ask me? Spaghetti is sacred, man. There are a lot of things you can throw in a heated moment, but wasting pasta? That’s criminal in itself. Now, I’m not saying spaghetti is a deadly weapon, but that marinara mess hit her square in the stomach. Cops showed up to the scene and found her basically looking like a human Italian pasta dish. This poor lady was covered head to toe in spaghetti sauce. The officers weren’t laughing, though, because this wasn’t Marquell’s first run in with the law. Dude already had a history, including a 2018 conviction for… Yup, you guessed it. Battering his wife.
The Cost of Spaghetti:
Now, with that kind of background, they didn’t just slap him with a little misdemeanor. No, this time it’s a shiny new felony, and the judge also gave him a $15,000 bond! Now that will give ya heartburn worse than the spaghetti. And he’s got a court order keeping him far away from his wife and her dinner.
Don’t feel too bad for Marquell either. This dude’s rap sheet is long. We’re talking 20 years of trouble, from drug possession to gun charges. Ten cocaine busts alone. He’s done time in state prison before too, and it looks like he’s on his way back.
So yeah, while this story might sound funny on the surface, it’s clear this guy’s got some real issues that go way deeper than throwing noodles. Here’s hoping he figures it out… maybe after a long, sober stay in jail.
Can You Guess Florida's Ideal Pasta Dinner?
