One Is Kinky One Is Vanilla: Can It Work?
Mary called The Cooper and Anthony Show because she and her guy have great chemistry but the sex is vanilla. When she pressed him on tryin g new stuff she was surprised to learn he has no fantasies and no interest in doing anything kinky.
This idea that sex has to be kinky and crazy all the time isn’t reality. We talk about kinks and fetishes a lot on this show because they are so unusual and they do need negotiating and talking about but most people have vanilla sex and enjoy vanilla sex, also, not everyone has fantasies
Your boyfriend told you he likes regular sex and that he has no fantasies. You have to accept him for who he is and what he likes.
Kinky people and vanilla people have long term healthy relationships because they find ways to get their needs met either inside the relationship or outside.
Some men agree to their women having same sex affairs or participate in BDSM play elsewhere because they’re not into it but they want their partner to be happy. Others find a compromise. I always say on this show, sex is a compromise because its rare to find two people on the same sexual page. We all come to it with different pasts, different desires and different ideas if what sex is and should be
Sex therapists who have patients where one is into regular sex and the other wants to try fantasy stuff have them snake a WILL, WON’T and MAYBE list. While making lists isn’t sexy, it’s how the conversation for compromise gets started.
ONE PERSON’S “BORING” IS ANOTHER’S CRAZY
It’s important to note that what one person considers “boring” can be entirely different from someone else’s perspective. However, there are several reasons why some people may enjoy what others might perceive as “boring” sex.
Some may find comfort and security in routine and familiarity. In this sense, having predictable sexual experiences can be soothing and calming for them. It could be a way for them to unwind and relax after a long day or week, without the pressure of having to try something new or exciting.
For some people, sex may not be the primary focus of their relationship or their life. They may not have a strong sex drive or desire for novelty, and as such, they may be content with having sex that is more straightforward and simple.
While others may have specific physical or psychological needs that are best met through routine or predictable sexual experiences. This could include individuals with sensory processing disorders or those who struggle with anxiety or other mental health conditions that are exacerbated by new or uncertain situations.
Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex, and what may be boring to one person can be exciting to another. The most important thing is for individuals to communicate their needs and desires with their partners, and to work together to find a sexual experience that is fulfilling and enjoyable for both parties.
