Florida Man Busted After Fingerprints Lifted From A Box Of Goldfish

A Florida man was busted for robbery thanks to his fingerprints being lifted from a box of goldfish. You have to be careful what you touch while committing crimes!

The incident reportedly happened in Gulfport, Florida. Cops allege that Michael Gonzalez, aka Gizmo, struck a 65-year-old victim who was walking out of the Family Dollar with $50 worth of cleaning supplies and a box of Goldfish crackers, per The Smoking Gun. The 65-year-old victim was reportedly the manager of the store who tried confronting Gonzalez when she saw him attempting to steal stuff from the store. The manager received a cut under her lip from the box of Goldfish crackers but wasn’t hurt other than that. You can see Gonzalez’s mugshot provided by the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office below.

Police tell The Smoking Gun, “Throughout the interview, Gonzalez stated that this was petty and that he should just get time served.” However, a judge seemingly disagreed with that perspective and set his bond at $30,000 for the 2 pending felony robbery cases. As there was the incident at Family Dollar with the box of Goldfish and another alleged incident where he stole a skateboard from a man whom he punched, bit, and stabbed in the face and head, per The Smoking Gun.

It sounds like he’s not a stranger to committing crimes. The Smoking Gun says his rap sheet includes convictions for theft; trespass; robbery; cocaine possession; disorderly conduct; and attempted armed robbery.

While committing crimes may seem black and white (you either broke the law or you didn't), there are certainly some crimes that are dumber than others. Sometimes it's the crime itself that's wild, other times, it's the people committing said crimes. These are 5 of the craziest, cringeworthy crimes ever committed.

Crimes can happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone. However, it takes a very unique individual, a case study if you will, to commit some of these outrageously dumb crimes. Years ago, these criminals would have been featured on Spike TV or one of those America's Dumbest Criminal shows. Today, I'm not sure if those shows are around...and I'm certain Spike TV isn't around anymore. That's a story for another time.

Crimes can happen for a number of reasons. They may happen out of necessity. They could also happen on accident. These crimes, however, do not fall into those categories. These crimes are different. None of these would accidentally happen. They also aren't a matter of life or death. There's no ethics quiz here, or any matters of 'would you steal bread to support your family?' These crimes, and criminals, aren't straight up cringeworthy.

While all of these crimes are crazy and certainly cringeworthy, they also make for excellent conversation pieces. That's why I've gone and found five examples of the wildest stories that Dave and Chuck the Freak have talked about and made a list highlighting the best of the best. Let's be honest...what's better than reading a story about one of the craziest crimes ever committed? Or, watching Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about some of the dumbest crimes ever committed? Personally, I'm going with the funny storytellers.

They add their own two cents and perspectives on these stories that nobody else could provide. Not even those talking heads on the dumbest criminal shows. Am I the only one who remembers those? I feel like they were a staple on TruTV or VH1, but now all I can find on TruTV is Impractical Jokers, which is awesome but...you get it. Let's not delay! Here's the list!

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Wisconsin who was arrested after lighting his own car on fire and being found naked, covered in liquid soap near a lakae. He is supposedly a licensed psychotherapist, works with 'magic mushrooms' and is "pretty much an expert in magic."

Dave & Chuck the Freak hear about a new Amazon vendor scam involving glue guns and head-lamps, or a potential windfall if you're James.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Dearborn, Michigan who exposed himself to someone at a Burlington Coat Factory. They are very confused when they learn about their hours and huge social media following. Then, they try to figure out what they even sell there.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Las Vegas, Nevada who stripped nude and danced on the gaming tables before he was restrained and arrested. Vegas, baby...

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Illinois who accidentally shot himself in the leg whilst dreaming of burglars breaking into his house. Living the proverbial dream isn't always what it seems...

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