Two People With Very Bad Things Stuck In Very Different Places

Now this post is a double feature for those who like to read about people who stuff things into parts of their bodies that shouldn't have things stuffed into.

Two different people have stuffed very different and very bad things stuck into their body.  The first is a guy who took concealed carry to a whole new place.  The other made a discovery about why he had headaches for the last five months.

According to reports, a 32-year-old Indiana ex-con was just busted hiding a gun in his anal cavity during a traffic stop. Being an ex-con you'd think he'd want to use an actual holster and not his personal pocket. His ex-con status already forbade him from having a gun in his possession, so maybe pass on the backdoor holster.

Unfortunately for Christopher Boyd was a passenger in a car that was pulled over late in the night for an obscured license plate. During a search, they found some pills in a sock that he didn't have a prescription for. This led to a patdown where they discovered his butt gun.

Once he was taken to jail for processing they also discovered that he had weed hidden underneath his balls. A look into Boyd's criminal history reveal he has prior convictions for attempted murder, burglary, and domestic battery. Has been classified as a “Serious Violent Felon and Domestic Batterer” which forbids him from carrying a firearm.

He was charged with an assortment of felony drug, gun, and trafficking charges.

Now this guy isn't in as much criminal trouble as the last dude, but still ahs something pretty bad stuck in a very bad place.

According to a report, A man who had suffered from severe headaches for over 5 months learned it was because he had chopsticks shoved in his head during a fight.  He had to be rushed to the hospital for removal.

It happened during a drunken brawl and the man had no idea that he had been stabbed, let alone stabbed in the head! The stabbing happened in his nose and caused him to suffer severe headaches, fluid discharge, and vision loss.

The man is now in stable condition and was released from the hospital.

You don't have to be a genius to be a criminal.  This is a post dedicated to the dumbest of the dumb criminals.

We assume some criminals are so into their plans of law-breaking that they don't realize they are making some obvious mistakes that will lead to their capture. It could be something as dumb as leaving their ID in a home they just burglarized or committing a crime right in front of a police officer.

Whatever dumb detail they missed, we are here to laugh about it.  Check out the Idiot Criminal of the Day below.

A beer thief in Oklahoma knew when enough was enough.  Once he was trapped and had nowhere else to go, he just had a drink and chatted with witnesses.

According to reports, a man from Oklahoma smashed out the doors in a Quik Trip gas station to steal some beer this weekend.  He then fled and somehow he ended up crashing into a grocery store. He was cornered and had nowhere else to go, so he cracked open a beer and chatted with a few witnesses, while the police were on their way to arrest him.

The man was identified as Jose Silverio, he was arrested and faces charges relating to felony vandalism and petit larceny.

Ok we get it. Tacos are serious business and a craving for tacos can only be satisfied by TACOS! but to attempt to kill a person over eating all the tacos is a bit drastic.

A 53-year-old man named Dale Martin from West Virginia is in a real pickle after he took things too far when someone ate all of the tacos. According to a report, Martin became irate with someone else in the household for eating all the tacos.

That's when Martin went into his bedroom and came out with a .22 caliber semiautomatic rifle.  He fired a shot into the staircase where the victim had been standing. Another witness told police that Martin had called them and told them about the taco situation and even threatened to, "get the 12 gauge and blow his f***ing head off."

Deputies found the firearm and spent shell casing from the gunshot. Martin was arrested and charged with attempted murder. No word on where the tacos were from, but James assumes it had to be a smorgasbord of Cheesy Gordita Crunches and other Taco Bell delicacies.

A 19-year-old guy is in some trouble after carjacking a woman driving for a ride-share company.  Jermiah Vedner Charles, ordered a Lyft ride back in October.

According to reports, once he got to the destination, that's when things took a turn. Charles punched the female driver in the head, arm, and stomach. While being continuously hit the woman jumped out of the car.  It was at this point that Charles hopped into the driver's seat and took off with the woman's Toyota Corolla.

Now it wasn't hard for the police to track Charles down.  He booked the LYFT ride through his own account with his real name.  A subpoena to the LYFT company gave cops all his information and they tracked him down.  They even found the victim's car near his home.

You can see the video of the incident here.

A dad in Connecticut called the cops to report his kid missing after he popped into a grocery store, and they weren't in the car when he got back.

But it turned out he was just DRUNK, and didn't realize he forgot his kid at home.

He was arrested on several charges.

Being denied a Happy Meal from a stranger could put a frown on most people, but this guy took it to another level.

According to a report, a man in North Dakota refused to buy a random guy a Big Mac and Happy Meal at McDonald's, and told him to "go get a job."  So the guy pulled out a GUN, threatened him with it, and got arrested.

Two idiots in Florida stole an old lady's wallet at Walmart, and used her credit card to buy $2,000 worth of stuff.  Then they got arrested when they came back the next day while cops were there investigating the theft.

A 33-year-old drug dealer in Florida got arrested on Friday after he called the cops and said a customer stole $10 from him.

According to this report, Eric Thomas, called officers to report a theft of $10. When they arrived he had 11 baggies of pot in his possession and confessed that the person who stole the 10 bucks was there to buy pot. Both of those are no-no's in Florida.

During a post-arrest search, cops found two baggies of cocaine in his wallet. He was arrested and charged with a pair of drug felonies and booked into the county jail.

North Carolina’s own Melvin Emde is back in police custody after allegedly, and unsuccessfully, trying to fake his own death.

According to reports, on August 7th, police received a call from Emde’s son saying his dad had “fallen overboard in a kayak” and drowned. That was the same day that Emde was due in court to answer for statutory rape charges.

Cops suspected it was a hoax but went along with the story while they searched for evidence of a drowning and posted updates on the rescue and “frantic” search for Emde’s body.

Why did the police think it was all a ruse? Emde was still wearing his ankle monitor from his previous arrest…and on the day of his “drowning” he was really at a Walmart buying two prepaid phones.

On Sunday, Emde was taken into custody after a traffic stop and crash while he was driving his motorcycle in Georgia.

A drug dealer in Pennsylvania was arrested, after he called the cops to his apartment, saying he was robbed.  But when they got there, they saw his drugs and paraphernalia sitting around . . . in plain sight.

According to reports, 46-year-old Allen Phelan Jr. called the police to report that someone had broken a window and entered his apartment. When officers arrived it did not appear that anyone had broken into the residence. They asked Phelan if anything was missing.

He took officers around his apartment where they allege a pill bottle with a white powder was in clear view with a small measuring spoon. That's when they placed Phelan in custody and executed a search warrant.

During the search warrant, they found: 47 grams of Fentanyl and 71 packages of it valued at $25,000, 13 grams of meth, 20 grams of marijuana, 9 suboxone strips, and 12 clonazepam

According to reports, a 53-year-old man in Florida was caught stealing from Walmart this week.

He tried putting a bunch of stuff up his shirt and walk out the store, but Walmart security stopped him and called the cops. When the police caught up with him, he blurted out, quote, "I'm not good at shoplifting."  He was hit with a felony because he had a couple of priors.

According to reports, a man broke into a Panama City church using a cinder block to break a window.  The man identified as Derek Porter caused over $8K in damage to the facility.

A church employee heard the sound of Porter smashing the window and fled.  When police arrived and found him he admitted to baptizing himself in the church’s baptistry pool and claimed he wasn't sure everything he did inside the building.

Police report that Porter had several electronics including a television and a computer from the church in his truck along with the church’s money bag.  They also found drug and drug paraphernalia on him. Here is some body cam footage during the arrest.

Porter has been charged with burglary of an occupied structure, criminal mischief, possession of meth, and possession of drug paraphernalia.