Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about what gets your bowels moving in the morning, middle school students under investigation for putting bodily fluids in food served to teachers, a dude that tried to climb the Eiffel Tower, Dan Aykroyd thinks aliens are here and want sex, a man banned from a gym for life after jerking it right by a woman doing squats, a dude that stole his daughters girl scout cookie money to pay for an erotic massage, Ask D&CtF: a listener needs help figuring out her partner’s fetish and another wants to know what to do with human remains left behind by a former roommate, a duck that caused a fight inside a restaurant, and more!