Love Stinks: Florida Man Defecates During Dispute
Sometimes love really stinks. A 30-year-old Florida man named Kiva Swander-Kirby, made a massive no-no. This genius got put in the slammer this week for allegedly strangling his girlfriend. But that’s not the whole story. Oh, it gets a lot messier from here…
According to gnvinfo.com, it all started when Swander-Kirby wanted to have a “real” conversation. You know, one of those deep talks where you air out all the dirty laundry. Well, his girlfriend was cool with it but wanted to know when he was coming back to finish their current conversation. That’s when Swander-Kirby told her he was tired and going to bed. But things were about to go from bad to much worse, fast after that.
Love Stinks Bad:
Instead of just letting the night end in silence, they started arguing. Next thing you know, this dude was fully naked and dropped a deuce right in the middle of the floor! Love stinks right? He just liquidated his assets for anyone to see. Now, you can imagine his girlfriend’s reaction. For one, she don’t wanna clean up after his crazy ass already… And I bet she’s not going to start there. Not surprising, she took one look at that mess and realized her man was out of his mind, and started screaming for help.
But Swander-Kirby wasn’t done yet. Instead of backing down, he allegedly tries to shut her up by covering her mouth and pinching her nose. It’s not clear if he was naked and crazy the entire time or if he suddenly decided to get cozy mid-fight, but either way, it’s a stinky mess.
By the time Alachua County deputies showed up, Swander-Kirby had already come clean about his floor decoration but was pretty vague on the rest of the details. So I guess sometimes it’s true what they say, love stinks.
Now he’s sitting in jail with a bond set at $40,000. Well, he’s in deep doo-doo now.