Woman Caught Trying To Use Dog Pee For Drug Test

Look, everyone makes bad choices. It happens to the best of us. However, this dumb decision tops the cake. A woman in Florida was caught trying to use dog pee for her drug test.

It's important to pass drug tests! There are big implications and consequences. So, you can't blame her for wanting to pass it and finding any means of doing so. However, she's now in a lot of trouble for doing so. Bad girl! Bad!

Jessica Beatty, 42, has to take random drug tests related to an arrest for possession of drug paraphernalia and driving with a suspended license. Now, she's admitting that she tried to submit dog urine she had collected in an attempt to best a court-ordered drug screening, according to The Smoking Gun.

Turns out, this isn't the first time Beatty, a Clearwater resident, has had problems with the law. Her lengthy rap sheet includes numerous cocaine convictions along with a few others.

Recently, she had an appointment to check if any drugs were in her system, as there shouldn't be due to a stipulation of her release terms. According to a criminal complaint, Beatty showed up to the testing with a "fraudulent urine sample."

When confronted about the sample, Beatty reportedly admitted that she got the sample from her aunt's dog and planned on using it for her test, per The Smoking Gun.

She was then arrested at the probation office and charged with a misdemeanor of urine testing fraudulent practices. During these tests, you are typically monitored by someone to ensure your test is indeed yours. Looks like the monitor spotted something this time around.

People have tried, unsuccessfully and successfully, to pass a drug test without having clean urine. There were products like synthetic urine. There's also using a friend's urine and sneaking that in. I suppose there's also trying to use dog urine.

However, even if you sneak it past the monitor. There are ways to tell the urine isn't legit. There's things to consider like temperature and enzymes. It is science, there are ways to bust you. Assume they are smarter than you are. That's a good approach to follow.

Trying to fake your way through a drug test happens. I've been there. I had to take one for a job at a car dealership one time, it wasn't related to any legal issues. Thankfully, because it wasn't required by the government or law, I wasn't monitored by anyone during my test. Thus, I was able to bring my friend's urine who I knew was totally clean. Unlike Beatty, I got away with it! At least, I think I did. Maybe they just didn't care. Regardless, don't try this at home.

While committing crimes may seem black and white (you either broke the law or you didn't), there are certainly some crimes that are dumber than others. Sometimes it's the crime itself that's wild, other times, it's the people committing said crimes. These are 5 of the craziest, cringeworthy crimes ever committed.

Crimes can happen anywhere, anytime, to anyone. However, it takes a very unique individual, a case study if you will, to commit some of these outrageously dumb crimes. Years ago, these criminals would have been featured on Spike TV or one of those America's Dumbest Criminal shows. Today, I'm not sure if those shows are around...and I'm certain Spike TV isn't around anymore. That's a story for another time.

Crimes can happen for a number of reasons. They may happen out of necessity. They could also happen on accident. These crimes, however, do not fall into those categories. These crimes are different. None of these would accidentally happen. They also aren't a matter of life or death. There's no ethics quiz here, or any matters of 'would you steal bread to support your family?' These crimes, and criminals, aren't straight up cringeworthy.

While all of these crimes are crazy and certainly cringeworthy, they also make for excellent conversation pieces. That's why I've gone and found five examples of the wildest stories that Dave and Chuck the Freak have talked about and made a list highlighting the best of the best. Let's be honest...what's better than reading a story about one of the craziest crimes ever committed? Or, watching Dave and Chuck the Freak talk about some of the dumbest crimes ever committed? Personally, I'm going with the funny storytellers.

They add their own two cents and perspectives on these stories that nobody else could provide. Not even those talking heads on the dumbest criminal shows. Am I the only one who remembers those? I feel like they were a staple on TruTV or VH1, but now all I can find on TruTV is Impractical Jokers, which is awesome but...you get it. Let's not delay! Here's the list!

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Wisconsin who was arrested after lighting his own car on fire and being found naked, covered in liquid soap near a lakae. He is supposedly a licensed psychotherapist, works with 'magic mushrooms' and is "pretty much an expert in magic."

Dave & Chuck the Freak hear about a new Amazon vendor scam involving glue guns and head-lamps, or a potential windfall if you're James.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Dearborn, Michigan who exposed himself to someone at a Burlington Coat Factory. They are very confused when they learn about their hours and huge social media following. Then, they try to figure out what they even sell there.

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Las Vegas, Nevada who stripped nude and danced on the gaming tables before he was restrained and arrested. Vegas, baby...

Dave & Chuck the Freak talk about a man in Illinois who accidentally shot himself in the leg whilst dreaming of burglars breaking into his house. Living the proverbial dream isn't always what it seems...

Have you ever gone to different means to try to pass a drug test? Let us know in the comments!

Turns out, this isn't the first time it's happened!