Florida Man “Tarzan” Learns That Swinging From Branches Is Harder Than It Looks.
Just Like a scene straight out of a movie, a Florida man was found hiding in a tree after allegedly fleeing Port Orange police. And no, this isn’t the latest installment of the “Tarzan” franchise.
According to WFLA, Jonathan Kiser, 33, was accused of speeding away from police during an attempted traffic stop. Apparently, Kiser thought he was starring in “The Fast and the Furious” and decided to make a run for it. Spoiler alert: he didn’t get very far.
Police used stop sticks to damage the tires on Kiser’s Nissan Maxima, and he and his passenger, Kaitlyn McCartney, 31, abandoned the vehicle in a backyard. McCartney was arrested nearby, but Kiser was nowhere to be found. That is, until the Edgewood Police Department’s K-9 unit showed up.
Florida Man Tarzan:
After two hours of searching, the K-9 unit found Kiser…up a tree. That’s right, folks. This grown man was perched in a tree like a scared squirrel. Body camera footage showed officers urging Kiser to come down and warning him not to run away. But Kiser apparently thought he was a primate and tried to swing from branch to branch like Tarzan.
Let’s just say, it didn’t go well. Kiser ended up dangling from the branch like a piñata before dropping to the ground and attempting to make a run for it. But K-9 Drako wasn’t having it. The dog and his handler subdued Kiser, who was then charged with enough crimes to make your head spin.
In conclusion, folks, let this be a lesson to all of us: don’t try to outrun the cops, and definitely don’t try to swing from trees like Tarzan unless you want to end up looking like a fool. And if you do end up in a tree, just hope the K-9 unit doesn’t show up because they’re not messing around.