Cops: Florida Man Pooped On Car Roof

I've never been drunk enough to poop on the roof of a car. Furthermore, if I was drunk enough, I'd be too drunk to climb up there. So, the community is safe from a poop attack from yours truly. But Florida man is a man who is capable of heroic (and sometimes bizarre as hell) feats of acrobatics and survival in the most daunting of situations.
Police in The Villages say a man stands accused (or squats, in this case) of vandalizing and defecating on the roof of a car that belonged to a man who was dating his love interest. A resident of The Villages, 30-year-old Robert Powell pleaded not guilty to the charges and remains out of jail on a $1,000 bond. When officers responded to a call from Michael Hoopfer about his car that had been tampered with sometime during the night. When officers arrived on the scene, they discovered Hoopfer's car had been vandalized. The passenger side windshield wiper had been broken off, there were scratches in the paint and more. What is the MORE you ask? How about a steaming butt biscuit right in the middle of the roof? Yep, a big ole home-built log cabin of stank.
Hoopfer identified the attacker as Powell, saying that he recognized the man from where they both work, and that he and the man had recently had an altercation "about a girl".
Surveillance video showed a man wearing a shite shirt and dark pants approach the car, kick the mirror, scratch both doors and thn climb onto the roof, where he dropped trou and pooped. Police determined that the suspect was very tall, and Powell is 6'5". After further investigation, Powell was located and taken to the Wildwood Police Department, where he was questioned and arrested. I can't help but think about the hot Florida sun and that poop on that roof. Would you just go to a car wash and hope they let you go through? Would you wait for it to dry up and then knock it off with a stick? What if it lands on your driveway? Sounds complicated. Source: Villages-News.com

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Steven Tyler's Words Of Wisdom

Steven Tyler is many things: One of the greatest frontmen of all time, a poet and, it bears mentioning, one of the wackiest dudes to ever walk the Earth. All of that combined is what makes the Demon of Screamin' so iconic and so beloved.

With that in mind, it also makes the recent news of Aerosmith having to retire from touring all the more of a gut-punch.

On August 2, the band issued a statement announcing the cancelation of their farewell tour. The band issued the following statement:

"It was 1970 when a spark of inspiration became Aerosmith. Thanks to you, our Blue Army, that spark caught flame and has been burning for over five decades. Some of you have been with us since the beginning and all of you are the reason we made rock ‘n’ roll history. 

It has been the honor of our lives to have our music become part of yours.  In every club, on every massive tour and at moments grand and private you have given us a place in the soundtrack of your lives. 

We’ve always wanted to blow your mind when performing.  As you know, Steven’s voice is an instrument like no other.  He has spent months tirelessly working on getting his voice to where it was before his injury.  We’ve seen him struggling despite having the best medical team by his side. Sadly, it is clear, that a full recovery from his vocal injury is not possible. We have made a heartbreaking and difficult, but necessary, decision - as a band of brothers - to retire from the touring stage.

We are grateful beyond words for everyone who was pumped to get on the road with us one last time. Grateful to our expert crew, our incredible team and the thousands of talented people who’ve made our historic runs possible. A final thank you to you - the best fans on planet Earth.  Play our music loud, now and always.  Dream On. You’ve made our dreams come true."

It's devastating that Aerosmith won't be able to go out on their own terms. They more than deserved that after being active for over 50 years. While they may not have gotten the ending they wanted, there will always be the music. In the case of Tyler, there will also be his wacky one-liners. Here's a look back on ten quotes attributed to the Aerosmith frontman ranging from hilarious to poignant and everywhere in between.

He climbed onto the roof and squatted...