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Smells Like Jazz Hands: 4 Things We Hope To See In The Upcoming Grunge Musical

Yes, you read that headline correctly; a grunge musical is, in fact, in the works. Per Variety, the original stage show is in the very early pre-production stages, but it…

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Yes, you read that headline correctly; a grunge musical is, in fact, in the works.

Per Variety, the original stage show is in the very early pre-production stages, but it will be based in 1990s Seattle as the grunge scene is exploding and feature songs from Alice in Chains and Soundgarden.

Obviously, we will have to wait for some time to see what exactly comes of this project, but if we had our way, these are four things we’d hope to see in the for now untitled grunge musical.

An un-ironic mention of Citizen Dick

The most popular nod to the Seattle grunge scene as of now is the 1992 Cameron Crowe film Singles, so if the people behind the stage show found a way to acknowledge the film, even if they worked a Citizen Dick poster into the scenery somehow, we’d be very impressed.

Rain

On average, it rains 135 days per year in Seattle. There has to be a way to incorporate a rain curtain or some sort of apparatus to make it rain on stage.  At the very least, maybe the theater could pipe in some ambient rain noise.

Some sort of parody of Starbucks

The only thing more prevalent than rain in Seattle is Starbucks, which is the headquarters for the coffee chain giant.  We’re not quite sure how to factor Starbucks into the musical, but dammit…they should find a way preferably without getting sued.

An honest portrayal of the city’s heroin problem

Okay…we know this has been a fun list, but it’s time to get serious.

You can’t realistically have a musical about the grunge scene and not address its heroin problem, which now in 2017 has reached epidemic levels all across the United States.  By coming up with a poignant storyline to address the needle and the damage it’s done to so many Seattle artists that are no longer with us, there’s a potential that this show could be to heroin addiction what Rent was to AIDS.

Erica Banas is a rock/classic rock blogger. The first man she ever loved was Jack Daniel.  (True story.)

Erica Banas is a news blogger who's been covering the rock/classic rock world since 2014. The coolest event she's ever covered in person was the 2021 Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony. (Sir Paul McCartney inducting Foo Fighters? C'mon now!) She's also well-versed in etiquette and extraordinarily nice. #TransRightsAreHumanRights