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25 Things You Shouldn’t Do Naked… But People Did Anyway

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25. Destroy a McDonald’s

ronald mcdonald 25 things you shouldnt do naked (but people did anyway)

Sandra Suarez, 41, was arrested in St Petersburg, Florida after rampaging through a McDonald’s wearing nothing but a thong after a restaurant worker turned down her offer of sexual favors (aka she wanted to give him a beej) in the parking lot. This led to her tipping over trolleys, emptying refrigerators and sucking down ice cream direct straight from the dispenser. Of course, this was all caught on video.

24. Visit your husband in jail

Maura Fussell, 26, was arrested after allegedly showing up naked at the Magistrate’s Office in Arlington, Alabama. She was reportedly drunk, completely naked and refused to get dressed or leave in a cab. Police were unable to say whether she arrived there naked or took her clothes off after arriving. Like that matters.

23. Ride a tricycle in public

Jermaine Jones, 31, was arrested in Lakewood, New Jersey and charged with being under the influence of cocaine, while riding a tricycle…naked. He was found naked under a stairwell, chewing glass and cigarette tobacco. Important note from this story? The tricycle was a children’s model, according to a police spokesperson.

22. Climb a 40 foot high pine tree

Michael Howard, 40, pleaded guilty to public lewdness after being arrested for being in a 40 foot high pine tree in Arab, Alabama. Long told police that he was cleaning the tree up to make it his home. Hard to believe, but police reportedly believed that drugs were involved. Next up, solving the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson.

21. Run through a bingo hall

Deharra Waters was arrested in Louisville, Kentucky after allegedly running through a bingo hall with his pants down while yelling, you guessed it, “Bingo!” Police also mentioned that his speech was slurred and that he has the word “YOLO” tattooed on his knuckles. Of course he does.

Naked Things 20 through 16

20. Crash a wedding

wedding crashers 25 things you shouldnt do naked (but people did anyway)

Kevin Gill, 36, pulled up to St. Mary’s Catholic Church in Lincoln, Nebraska, got out of his vehicle, he waved a piece of lettuce and said he was going to feed the animals. He then got back into his car, stripped naked, and got out of his vehicle again. Best part of the story? “Members of the wedding party confirm for police that no one knows Gill and that he was not an invited guest.”

19. Steal construction equipment

Joseph Michael Hall, 19, was charged in Knoxville, Tennessee with stealing a Bobcat front loader from a nursery and drunkenly attempting to drive it home…naked. “Mr. Hall stated that he was drunk and that he was trying to hide his nudity by taking the Bobcat…It wasn’t immediately clear how the teen lost his clothes.”

18. Smash car tail lights

Sean C. Flaherty, 42, broke out the tail lights to three different cars in Iowa City, Iowa allegedly telling police that he was breaking the red tail lights because “red means danger to the republic.” Amazingly, Flaherty admitted that he’d been drinking.

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